I don't want to go to sleep at night. I'm not sure why. It probably has a lot to do with being separated from my husband. I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm not worried about bad dreams; I just want to stay awake and knit. Or spin. Or read. Or watch tv. I can usually do it, too, since I don't have a day job. No reason to wake up early means I have very little reason to go to bed early.

The worst part of it is that I want to audition for young artist programs. As a cellist, it didn't matter how late I'd gone to bed before, how much I'd had to drink, if I was sick, if I had a headache, etc. That's certainly not true as a singer. Every little thing affects my voice. If I want to sound good, I need to take care of myself. And I haven't been.

I think I'm self-destructing. I'm afraid of getting what I want, so I sabotage myself.


This ends now. I'm going to clean off my bed, turn off the computer and go to sleep. And tomorrow, I'm going to be productive.

ehh, so much for regular updates. Or the 30 in 30 thing.

I just finished knitting a shawl out of my own handspun yarn. Between the colors of the original two skeins being a bit muddy and then having to spin  more yarn to finish it, it needs to be dyed. That probably won't happen until next week, as I'm both busy and having a strong case of the lazies.

In the meantime, I've started knitting a sweater out of some gorgeous alpaca/silk yarn that's been sitting in my stash for several years. Loving it so far.